Do you have someone in your life that means so much? Like there is no way to describe how much they mean to you. Even if it's family, a friend or a lover, there is just no way to put it in words, what they mean to you.
So what if this person decided they no longer want to be in your life because someone told them countless lies? Where do you go from there? How do you get them to see the truth? What do you do?
I'm not sure how to get through this in one complete piece. My heart breaks more and more as the days pass. It's been more than a year of this feeling. Though some will only see it as only eight-ish months, but the truth is that it's been like this for a lot longer than that and it's hard for me. As I'm sure it's hard for everyone involved with this situation, but it's crushing me with how hard it is. I've always been very sensitive and because of that I can't move on knowing that she doesn't want anything to do with us unless we accept her decisions.
I can't. Not because I don't want her to be happy. I do, she deserves to be happy. But because of how she did things and all the lies and deceit that came with those decisions. All the pain she put someone special through, and it's someone that should never have had that happen to them.
She believes all the lies she's been told. Now everything that is said to her from us, she sees as lies. She thinks we all took sides, but she doesn't see that there is no benefit in that. If I chose her, I would lose one of the most important persons in my life, but it goes both ways, I would lose her (she's just as important) if I had chosen the other side. Though I didn't actually choose sides, I still lost her. I still lost a part of me when she decided that she doesn't believe me.
Somehow now whenever we talk it seems like it's superficial. Like an obligation as opposed to being truthfully genuine. Though she can't see the pain that grips my heart when I see her name, I know that I love her no matter what. I miss her everyday. I don't know if she understands the pain that I have endured knowing she doesn't want to know the whole truth, that she has turned a blind eye.
Things will never be the same after this. There will always be a lingering presence of this whole ordeal. I just hope it won't last much longer. Because this whole thing is slowly killing me.
Where do I go from here?
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